I've probably been talking a lot about the importance of protection on my facebook page. I think it is time I write an article about creating firm boundaries. I know in some Spiritual Circles, saying no and being firm is frowned upon, as they believe that if people need help then we should go all out to give them the assistance they need. I have nothing against this obviously, but I also believe in helping people to help themselves. And in order to do this, one must have very firm boundaries with the people we are giving our assistance to.
I have on many occasions said no to people who come to me for help. Not because I don't want to help them, but simply because I can't help them if they don't help themselves.
I know that in saying no, I am being 'smart' about taking care of myself and not unnecessarily draining my energies and time so that I can be of better service to those who really need my help — those who truly have a desire and commitment to help themselves. I find this much more empowering for the person and for me.
Creating firm boundaries is not just about saying no to people. It can also be a silent exercise we do internally. For example if you are a psychic or a healer, and someone comes to you for a private session this means they are there to be healed. In the process, they will inevitably 'dump' their stuff in your space and on you. And it is your responsibility to make sure you do not take these energies in. You are there only to clear them. And so you use whatever psychic, energy and spiritual tools to clear these energies.
And of course the establishing of one's bubble of protection is vital. Some of you know this already, when you have a negative thought in your mind you will create tears in your protective grid, so you need to keep establishing your protective grid. Mindset work is the key, which means a person has to be psychological strong and clear in order to enjoy the benefits of a full functioning protective grid.
Time and time again, I hear many healers 'boasting' about how ill they became after doing a healing session for a client and how much they have helped the person. I really do not think it is anything to be proud about, because this not only renders the healer energy-less, it is also selfish to deprive another person who may actually need the healer's help.
Aren't we all here to be of greater service to others? So what use can we be if we keep falling ill and making ourselves dumping ground?
I know some may argue that perhaps it is the person's divine mission to be a 'dumping' ground! But I seriously doubt that, I don't think God designed us to be martyrs in that sense. There may be other reasons such as psychological and karmic lessons as to why a person is a dumping ground but martyrs? I doubt.
In part 2 of this article, I will share more about the type of tools we can use to create firm boundaries and effective protective grids.
© Shamala Tan 2011 www.higherpsychism.com
Photo by: dan / FreeDigitalPhotos.net
